Loved, Liked or Tolerated
By Pastor C
I stood in the pulpit, flowing in the anointing, bringing forth the Word God had downloaded into my spirit. The saints were rejoicing, hands were raised, “Amens” were echoing through the sanctuary. But in the middle of that holy moment, the spotlight of my spirit caught a figure in the crowd—head bowed low, disinterested, disconnected. A few moments later, they stood and walked right across the center aisle, interrupting the flow, exiting without engagement.
I’ve seen them do it before—only when I preach. For others, they stand, clap, shout, dance. But when I take the mic? Silence. Stillness. Almost as if my presence evoked their disdain.
Now let me be clear: I didn’t take it personally. I took it prayerfully. I laid it before God, not asking Him to make them like me or to cause them to accept me, but asking Him to search me. I said, “Lord, if I have hurt them, reveal it. If I’ve offended, convict me. But if not, help me to keep my heart clean and my motives pure.”
And the Lord answered, ever so lovingly:
“Daughter, sometimes you're loved. Sometimes you’re liked. And sometimes, you’re just tolerated.”
The Three Seats at the Table: Love, Like, and Toleration
We all sit at tables with people who place us in one of these three categories. Some embrace us with the arms of love. Some connect with us through the common bond of like. And some… they’re merely enduring our presence, watching the clock, tolerating our existence.
Let’s examine these not from a place of pain but from a place of power and perspective.
1. Loved – Embraced Without Condition
To be loved is to be received with open arms, flaws and all. When someone loves you, they make room for your voice, vision, and vulnerability. It’s not about performance or perfection—it’s about presence.
Biblical Example – Joseph and Jacob (Israel):
“Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colours.” – Genesis 37:3
Jacob (Israel) loved Joseph. His love gave Joseph identity (the coat), favor (his dreams), and access (he sent him to check on his brothers). Love sees potential where others see problems. When you're loved, you're often misunderstood, even hated by others who don’t understand your value.
Truth to ponder:
Respond to those who love you with gratitude, loyalty, and honor. Don’t take their support for granted. Pour back into those who pour into you. And don’t idolize their love—steward it with humility.
2. Liked – Enjoyed but with Boundaries
To be liked is to be appreciated for certain traits, abilities, or associations. It’s conditional, often tied to convenience or compatibility. People who like you may not love you deeply—but they enjoy your energy, your personality, or your contributions.
Biblical Example – Joseph and the Prison Keeper:
“But the LORD was with Joseph... and gave him favour in the sight of the keeper of the prison.” – Genesis 39:21
Joseph was liked in prison. He had favor, but not freedom. He was trusted, but still in chains. Liking can open doors, but it doesn’t always guarantee destiny. People may enjoy your presence until your promotion challenges their power.
Truth to ponder:
Respond to those who like you with respect, discernment, and integrity. You don’t have to force a more profound connection—just be authentically you and let God handle the rest. Remember, being liked is a blessing, but it’s not the same as being called.
3. Tolerated – Endured but Not Embraced
To be tolerated is to be allowed to exist but not welcomed to belong. It’s the smile that never reaches the eyes. It’s the nod that lacks sincerity. Toleration is rooted in politeness, not passion.
Biblical Example – Joseph and His Brothers:
“And when they saw him afar off, even before he came near unto them, they conspired against him to slay him.” – Genesis 37:18
His brothers tolerated Joseph. They didn’t love him. They didn’t like him. They put up with him until his dreams offended their comfort. Toleration often masks insecurity. People will tolerate you until your vision reminds them of their lack.
Truth to ponder:
Respond to those who tolerate you with grace, maturity, and boundaries. Don’t chase validation from those who refuse to see your value. You are not called to convert those who merely endure you—you’re called to walk in purpose anyway.
Many of us waste years trying to upgrade people’s perception of us—from tolerated to liked or from liked to loved. But Cycle Breaker, listen carefully: you don't need universal acceptance to walk in divine purpose. Jesus was loved by the Father, liked by the multitudes (until the teaching got hard), and tolerated by the religious leaders.
You may be all three in the same week, by different people, or even by the same person. But here’s the key: what matters most is that you are completely, irrevocably, passionately LOVED by God.
The Danger of Not Embracing This Truth
When we don’t understand this dynamic, we:
Waste energy performing for those who will never affirm us.
Miss divine appointments trying to win human approval.
Harbor bitterness where God is cultivating endurance.
But when we embrace it, we gain:
Clarity – Knowing where you stand brings peace.
Freedom – No longer striving for love from people who can't give it.
Growth – You can learn from every interaction, even if it's uncomfortable.
Here’s a truth bomb: We All Tolerate Someone
We all have someone in our family, at our job, or even in our church whom we tolerate: that uncle who always talks politics at dinner, that co-worker who micromanages, or that pew partner who talks all during the service.
Toleration isn’t sin—it’s simply a boundary. But the danger comes when we let toleration turn into mistreatment. God didn’t call us to tear down those we can’t relate to. He called us to love beyond understanding.
My last thoughts for this writing are this:
Let me say this as plainly as possible: God is not grading your assignment based on how many people love, like, or tolerate you. He’s checking your heart. Can you still walk in love when love isn’t returned? Can you still speak truth when the room is cold? Can you still stand tall when the room prefers another voice?
Joseph was promoted not because he was popular, but because he remained faithful, favored, and focused. And so will you.
So go forth—loved, liked, or tolerated—and let the anointing do the talking.
Because the oil on your life doesn’t need permission to flow.
You are anointed regardless of the audience’s applause, affirmed even if no one else understands you, and appointed whether you're clapped for or crossed out.
God reminded me that day—and I’m reminding you now—that you are not performing for people. You are fulfilling a purpose.
Whether you’re the keynote or the overlooked, the celebrated or the side-eyed, you are still chosen. Your identity does not shift with the emotional climate of others.
Your Takeaway Today
If you are loved: Nurture it. Protect it. Don’t abuse the sacred ground of love.
If you are liked: Be gracious, but don’t get comfortable. Like can turn with the wind.
If you are tolerated: Don’t bend backward to be welcomed where God never called you to stay long-term.
And if you’re all three? Welcome to leadership. Welcome to destiny. Welcome to the Joseph club.
Scriptures to Meditate On
“But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good…” – Genesis 50:20
“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” – Romans 12:18
“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” – Galatians 6:9
“Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you… and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.” – Luke 6:22
A Prayer for the Loved, the Liked, and the Tolerated
Lord, help me to see myself through Your eyes, not through the reaction of others.
Help me to walk in boldness when I’m embraced, and in humility when I’m ignored.
Let me never trade my anointing for approval, or compromise truth for comfort.
Give me discernment to know who is for me, who is with me, and who is just near me.
And help me never become bitter, even when I’m only tolerated—because Jesus, You were too.
In the mighty name of Jesus! Amen.